I am happy i am blogging.
Its letting out the demons gnawing me all these years.Or those words..those feelings..those experiences..waiting to come out of me.Get themselves a physical home somewhere.
Had been a supremely undisciplined diary writer before this.And those diaries used to be bursts of uninhibited frustrations.Here..its in moderation!There's this ever-present ever-reading other eye i have always been conscious of while writing.In here,it can very well be a reality.Maybe the reason why i have chosen to allow my blog to be accessed by anyone destiny(read google) directs to this space.It keeps me cautious..alert.
But the fact remains that this space here..my writings here..are staunchly personal.Its more my own mental ramblings,and am often embarrassed by their lack-of-purpose or creativeness.Its as plain as can be.A replica,or atleast the closest replica of what my mind goes through on a daily basis.
I intend to be more honest,put more of myself in these pages.It will be my dirty linen which i wash in public,though in anonymity.I do doubt that though..anyone REALLY wanting to know my true identity wont have to be in FBI to do so.Its there,in front for all to see,in plain n obvious fashion.But then,the question is,why would anyone want to know my real details in the first place?!
So..i was rambling about trying to be more honest.Put those guarded emotions here along with the not-so-keenly-guarded ones.Let it be my other 'mind'..which will free me from my never-ending analysis of myself for some time..so i can deal with a clear,uncluttered head,on things that are constructive.Sure they will have my reflection on them,being the products of my thoughts,bt at the moment,there's too much of me in me.I need to put a part of me here in these pages and give space to the other,outgoing part of me to flourish a little more.I have almost been stunting its growth with my intense,continuous brooding.Though,it remains my favourite activity till date.
I can well see this in this fashion:That i am a scientist,or a movie director,involved in a creative process.But i need to come back and brush my technical competencies.Do the essential review and analysis of my daily work.Certainly,that will lead to a better discovery/invention..or a beter movie than i would otherwise make.
And what is more..i will carry a light head on my shoulders.
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